Most of me are happy with who I am but some parts just kinda seem disagreeing on that statement. I'm not who I used to be anymore in roughly 85 percent. But the left over 15 are still the old me. I still read while eating at home, I still like to talk to myself and I also still like cereal more than any type of food.
But right now, the things that I have changed about myself is my mindset. I don't trust people more often anymore, I try to think before I speak and I also tend to be kind to others sincerely even more because I think doing good to others is something really important.
This would probably be associated with what happened in my past.
The biggest reason why I don't trust people more often is because I grew up learning the fact that I can't. As you all know about the human's mind, you might as well know about how they think and feel. People forget sometimes and leave so easily. I can't bother myself with trusting somebody who will just -in the end- leaving me like I meant no shit to them. It's just a whole waste of feelings, time and trust.
Why I try to think before I speak is because I know that I have hurt so many people by my silly words. I once insulted a group of people for only my own good, and BOOM it went nasty. And I know that maybe some of you reading this were once hurt by what I have said to you previously, which is the majority of why I'm making this post, I apologize badly and I promise to try to never do that again. And if you could take your time to accept the fact that I have changed and that I am not who I am in the past, that would be great. I would appreciate it dearly.
And why I tend to be kind to others sincerely is because if I keep on doing good things in wait of their return, nothing really comes. It'll all just be a waste because I'm not doing it in sincere and I kept hoping they would do something good to me back. That's just not how you do it. If you do things that benefits others with complete sincere, good things will come. Try it, I promise you something good will happen. Like a miracle plot twist.
I'm not the same anymore. I'll admit it: a lot of shit got to me.
People left. People who meant a lot to me. People ditched me. People who meant the world to me. I hurt people. People who don't even hold a grudge against me. People take me for advantage. People who I wish were afraid of losing me.
But to top this post off, I'd like you guys to know that things happen. Actually, shit happen. And just remember that, all the things that happen to you are things you can go through. Keep that in mind.
-Zee-
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