Your Body, Your Face -You

This is probably compulsory to all the female human beings out there who are insecure of their flaws. I myself am insecure and I myself never actually feel good enough for anybody. But I'm making this post to make whoever's reading this feel better and even if it's only one person, I'm happy. 

The reason of why I'm writing this is because of the majority of people telling themselves that they are ugly, that they are never good enough for anybody, that they don't have a thigh gap, that nobody cares, that they're not worth it, that they're a loser and many other things that are really foolish and annoying.

It doesn't make sense to call yourself ugly, because you don't really see yourself. You don't watch yourself sleeping in bed, curled up and silent with chests rising and falling with your own rhythm. You don't see yourself reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing. You don't see yourself looking at someone with love and care inside your heart. There's no mirror in your way when you're laughing and smiling and happiness is leaking out of you. You would know exactly how bright and beautiful you are if you saw yourself in the moments where you are truly you.

And if you want to not be ugly, just do these steps:

1. Stop telling yourself that you are ugly. 
2. Take care of your body and face.
3. Be thankful.
4. Ignore the people who tries to bring you down.
5. Start loving yourself.

I know it's not as simple as listing them down but you know what? Nothing worth comes easy. If you want to stop drowning in that endless sea of insecurities, you have to change the way you look at things and change your bad thoughts. Try it and I promise you you'll feel a lot better :) If you don't then, I don't know.

-Zee-

Books and stories

The thing that I really like about books is that they have stories in which a writer pours their feelings, emotions, imaginations, and possibly their experience. Reading a book feels like knowing someone's life you've never met and it also feels like you are part of the book.

"It's strange because sometimes, I read a book, and think I am the people in the book." -The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

The pleasure of reading a book is too many -I might not be able to list them all. But I will tell you the things that I really like of reading a book and why it is my absolute number one hobby.

First is, when reading a book, I feel like I am the people in the book (just like what Stephen Chbosky said in the quote above). It's amazing how the sentences are described really nice that just kinda make me feel like I'm in there and I'm feeling the situation too. 

Second is that when reading a book, the world just zones out of me and I feel like I am drowned in their story, and in their feelings, not in my own. 

Third, you get to know new stories of fictional or non-fictional characters. What they've gone through, what their feelings were like, what the situation felt like, and of course what their thoughts spoke about. But that is kind of like an exception because you only get these things when it's in 1st person story. Maybe you can get these too in 3rd person or 2nd person, whichever the way, you get this pleasure too.

Fourth, you have the chance to picture all the great things you read in your head with your own imaginations. Creating a scene in your head of what a paragraph says is probably one of the best feelings ever.

Fifth, stories in books give you so many thoughts, knowledge and quotes. That's the best thing! It gives you: quotes. I am a person who is addicted to quotes. Especially, Stephen Chbosky's quotes on the book The Perks Of Being A Wallflower and John Green's from the book The Fault In Our Stars. It is fantastic. How such people can create such quotes that brings so many thoughts to thinking people. It's just incredible. Perfectly beautiful.

And the last is, it encourages you to write your own's. Which did really push me to. I am currently writing two stories. One is up on Quotev which is an online reading site and one is a secret which I am hoping so badly I can finish and publish as a book. I know I'm not really great at writing, but I'm trying very hard to do this because I like it and I believe I will always like it. 

That is all that I'd like to tell you at the moment, thank you so much for viewing this post, I wish you all good luck and everything that's good, have a great time wherever you are :)

-Zee-

"Are you happy with the person you've become?"

It's an early morning of Monday and here I am, blogging! I remember coming across the question "Are you happy with the person you've become?" and at that time I couldn't answer it yet, but today I am and I am going to share it with you all :)

Most of me are happy with who I am but some parts just kinda seem disagreeing on that statement. I'm not who I used to be anymore in roughly 85 percent. But the left over 15 are still the old me. I still read while eating at home, I still like to talk to myself and I also still like cereal more than any type of food.

But right now, the things that I have changed about myself is my mindset. I don't trust people more often anymore, I try to think before I speak and I also tend to be kind to others sincerely even more because I think doing good to others is something really important.

This would probably be associated with what happened in my past.

The biggest reason why I don't trust people more often is because I grew up learning the fact that I can't. As you all know about the human's mind, you might as well know about how they think and feel. People forget sometimes and leave so easily. I can't bother myself with trusting somebody who will just -in the end- leaving me like I meant no shit to them. It's just a whole waste of feelings, time and trust.

Why I try to think before I speak is because I know that I have hurt so many people by my silly words. I once insulted a group of people for only my own good, and BOOM it went nasty. And I know that maybe some of you reading this were once hurt by what I have said to you previously, which is the majority of why I'm making this post, I apologize badly and I promise to try to never do that again. And if you could take your time to accept the fact that I have changed and that I am not who I am in the past, that would be great. I would appreciate it dearly.

And why I tend to be kind to others sincerely is because if I keep on doing good things in wait of their return, nothing really comes. It'll all just be a waste because I'm not doing it in sincere and I kept hoping they would do something good to me back. That's just not how you do it. If you do things that benefits others with complete sincere, good things will come. Try it, I promise you something good will happen. Like a miracle plot twist.

I'm not the same anymore. I'll admit it: a lot of shit got to me. 

People left. People who meant a lot to me. People ditched me. People who meant the world to me. I hurt people. People who don't even hold a grudge against me. People take me for advantage. People who I wish were afraid of losing me. 

But to top this post off, I'd like you guys to know that things happen. Actually, shit happen. And just remember that, all the things that happen to you are things you can go through. Keep that in mind.

-Zee-

My really really big wish

What kind of person stays at her room, posting some personal post on a blog instead of studying for the biggest exam in grade 9? Me! And yes, I am not proud.

So as you can tell by the title of this post, I would like to tell you guys one of my really really big wish. And I think it'd be quiet important that people do this because you can reflect what kind of person they are. If you are a keen reader of my blog, you would've known my biggest wish already.

To make it easy for you, I'll just jot it down.

1. Move overseas in 2014 (To be definite, I want to go back to 'Muscat'.)

To be really honest, I'm not really comfortable living in my current home, and that is not because I'm being picky or selfish. Now I know that you people will bombard me with some authentic hadith, sayings from the Qur'an and some wise words telling me to be thankful. 

(We're getting into some serious business right now)

I really don't mind it when people tell me to be so but I am quiet offended. Because those people who tell me to be so know not even a half of what I've gone through! I appreciate you telling me all these things to stop me from sinning but please don't demand me to do something I'm already trying to without knowing what's going on okay? It's not that hard, just think before you tell me.

And another reason why I would like to move *overseas is because I really really want to see my old friends and see all of the changes that has happened throughout the years without me. I may not mean a thing to them anymore but I don't care. And I know that all the places I've seen might be different and all the people I know are not who they are anymore, I really really don't mind. I want to go there, because I want to and because I just think I need to see what it's like there now. 

Although this had been the toughest post to make, I really wish those certain somebodies will read this and maybe even just a little, understand. I'm making it really hard for myself, and I genuinely know that already. I just really am hoping and wishing and praying really hard that this could come true.

Here's a little #throwback picture of some old memories:

Thank you so so much for bearing to read this, I love you all and bye all! :)

-Zee-

FAMILY FIRST

Everybody has a family. And whether you don't have a mother or a father or any sibling at all or maybe you have no parents at all, I believe everyone has had a family once.

Family is one of the most important things in our life. Family is forever, family is first and family is love. You cannot choose friends over family. You cannot choose girlfriend over family. You cannot choose boyfriend over family. And you can definitely not choose anyone that matters not over your family. Because if you do then, there's something terribly wrong about you.

♡♡♡

When you ask, ask Allah :)

Everyone is different. Meaning, we have different pain, troubles and stories. One day you might feel all lost and down, and you wish for something good to happen. Don't be scared to, because Allah's kindness is very near to us. Allah hears all and answers our supplications, and so we need to be persistent in our supplications.

Never say: I prayed yet I have not been answered. 

Saying this will just dissociate our prayers from him. Instead we should keep on praying and beg for help from Allah

Invoke your Lord with humility and in secret. {Qur'an 7:55}

This also comes in an authentic hadith. The Prophet (blessing and peace be upon him) said: 

"If you ask, then ask of Allah, and if you seek help, then seek it from Allah. And know that if the whole of the nation were to rally together in order to bring benefit to you in anything, they would not benefit you except with that which Allah has written for you. And if they were to gather in order to inflict harm upon you with something, the would not harm you except with that which Allah has written upon you. The pens have been raised and the pages have dried."

My whole entire life would mean nothing without Allah. Allah is the only who was there for me when everybody wasn't. He hears, He understands, and He answers. Everything is possible if we give Allah a chance. 

Allah is very Gracious and King to His slaves. {Qur'an 42:19}

A lot from this post had been taken from my most favourite book: Don't Be Sad by 'Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni. It is so much of knowledge and stories that reminds me of Allah and the blessing He has given me. The point of this post is to tell you guys that yes, there is hope, just give Allah a chance. Nothing is impossible for Allah. You might think He doesn't know about your sadness, your glumness and your depression but the truth is He of course does. He sees everything and knows. 

Allah is always saving something good for you. And perhaps you don't like a thing that's good for you, and perhaps you like a thing that's bad for you. Allah knows but you don't know. {Qur'an 2:216}

See? :)

-Zee-

Saturday Questions!

Hello! :) Today I have had the strangest yet crazy day. If I outlined them it'd probably be like this: #1 Brought the wrong clothes #2 Got upset in the mall  #3 Cancelled hanging out with KTB on Tuesday :(

But yeah, moving on, I'm pretty sure I'm hyped up because I'm dancing in my own room, listening to Midnight Memories Album. So, while I'm in this hippy-happy mood, I thought of answering some super unique questions I found on Tumblr. There are a total of about 300 questions but I'm going to only pick 30 so here you go!

1. Are you outgoing or shy? I'm more to outgoing I think.
2. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My friends back in Oman.
3. Spell your name with your chin. zsxaqhgreas
4. Do you like your neighbors? No.
5. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Troye Mellet Sivan.
6. Do you type fast? I type super fast 
7. What are you supposed to be doing right now? UN-IPA homework 
8. Are you listening to music right now? Yes, Alive by One Direction :)
9. Favourite month? Augustus. 
10. What’s your favourite quote? Fall seven times, Stand up eight.
11. Summer or Winter? Winter.
12. Do you have a collection of anything? Yes, dead insects.
13. Do you have any strange phobias? Yes, expiry dates (long story)
14. What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Writing my second story :)
15. How can I win your heart? Don't take me for advantage, be kind to me, talk to me like I'm your best friend, smell good and dress nicely.
16. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. Kris glanced at the clock radio on the bedside (Goosebumps: Night of the Living Dummy)
17. What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? ***a* or *a***? (They're names of people that mean a lot to me. I just couldn't pick one of them. Sorry I can't tell you who they are)
18. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Flying!
19. What's the last thing you purchased? Some sh-tty clothes ;(
20. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Muscat, Oman.
21. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? Yep
22. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? FYES. Just kidding, no I don't hate him.
23. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? Not really. I know that this guy's name is Michael but we never talk.
24. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Fcuk you and your life. Just kidding, I'd probably say "okay it's cool" and like someone else I guess..?
25. Are you over your past? Not really..
26. How’s your heart? A few broken pieces seem missing but I'll be doing fine! :)
27. Are you good at hiding your feelings? I think so *shrugs*
28. Do you think you like someone? Not really..
29. What’s the best part about school? Recess, Lunch and Home time! :)
30. What's your biggest dream at the moment? Moving *overseas in 2014

So yeah that is all of the 30 questions I picked. Now that you all have learned something new about me, I'm scared of what you will think of me. It'd be so nice of you if you could comment down, picking 5 questions from above and answering them. Thank you for viewing this post, and have a great time! :)

-Zee-

A place I'd like to travel

Every person -in my opinion always have a little ego inside them screaming "I WANT" and one of the biggest things of those "I WANT's" might be a place to travel. I myself have not visited a new place or travel somewhere for a quiet long time and this definitely sucks because not having the chance to visit or go to places at a young(-teenage) age is such a disappointment.

When I was little I've always gone to places. Not to be a show off here but I really did. I don't visit places for fame, I visit them for my own little entertainment, knowledge, pleasure, experience and adventure. Because I get to see places I've never known existed in my life and it surely does feel rather fascinating. I really really would like to visit more. Even go to a random place, I don't care! Anywhere unknown by me but is you know 'safe', 'clean' and guaranteed to go is perfectly fine for me.

A place I'd like to travel round about is probably The States. Okay, I'm making it hard. America. I really would like to know what it's like there. You know- New York and Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles and all the places I really wish I could go to.

*I have no idea if that is America or not, I found it on Tumblr and I think it'd fit with the topic*

I am a person who loves city light. It is so beautiful, it feels like the city is stars sparkling itself! I grew up driving in cars, seeing the beautiful night view of buildings sparkling like twinkling stars. Also, the cars driving away -heading to their own place oh and also: people. I like seeing people's faces and figures, it somehow gives me thought. Thoughts of where they live, how their life is, what they've gone through that made them choose life over suicide, who the first person was to break their hearts, and a lot of other things (just keep in mind that I what think of when seeing people is not the inappropriate) you can't imagine.

Other things that I love to see is the sea or the beach. Anything referring to water. It's really nice and secrety I love hearing the sounds of the wave and the saltiness of the air there, it feels really.. earthy. You get what I mean right?

That's really it that I want to tell you. I'm not a very interesting person so I'm also really afraid you'll get bored with me. Anyway, thank you a lot for reading! :)

-Zee-

Hello! :)

This is my first post as you can see and today I would like to explain to you about myself like any other blogger would for their very first post.

Name: Zahra or Zee the amazing 

No I'm kidding. My name is Zahra Thania but often called Zee since grade 3.

Birthdate: 27 March 1999
Birthplace: Jakarta, Indonesia

I'm fourteen, currently in grade 9 and obviously a Muslim. My dream is to do something great like everyone else but to be exact, I haven't found what I want to be when I get big. Bummer, I know.

I usually waste my time by escaping reality by either sleeping or drown into my own world by reading. I like drawing kiddy drawings and my handwriting sucks. I have a lot of spaces in between the words when I write and my friends complain a lot.

Thi s  is  a n    e xam  ple  of h ow  I  w r ite   .

Just kidding, my writing isn't that bad. I have experienced moving houses and school a TON of times (Not too much though, but enough to make you feel sick of moving.) I also have experienced 4 years living in Muscat, Oman which is one of the most amazing things that occured to me. I talk and laugh a lot like there's no day tomorrow plus I love writing.

I have written like 7 stories and failed, but at the moment, I'm writing a story entitled In The Eyes Of Ours. I've also always wanted to publish books, live overseas and to have my own little bakery where I allow needy people to get anything they want on Fridays.

I am in this 'lovely' group thingy named KTB which my 'lovely' friend named. It is a photography club consisting of 7 silly trolls. I'm currently studying in this 'lovely' school which is on top of Hambalang Hill. Popularly known as ATC which stands for Al-Taqwa College Indonesia.

I have an older brother named Deeya who's about to graduate grade 12, and a mother who supports me in everything and a dad who treats me like a 9 year old. It's okay though, I don't mind.

SO YEAH, those are some things about me. I don't have many good qualities and now I'm afraid of what you think of me. Another short information, I love watching YouTubers and currently dreaming to be. I'm also trying to make videos although I know I'm under-trained.

I will post more posts here about a lot of random things. Maybe Islamic Studies or experiences and stories. Clearly, it'll be a lot and pretty random. Thank you so much for reading whoever and wherever you are and have a great day/morning/night! :)

Check out my Tumblr! http://zahrathania.tumblr.com/ http://winter-hopes.tumblr.com/

-Zee-